So much to say. Been avoiding posting all week as I really want to share the good things happening. But here goes...Worst. Spring. Break. Ever.
-spent the first 3 days of break moving everything we own
-moved into temporary housing (2 weeks in gpa and gma's empty house) Didn't think it would bother me, but it has struck many emotions within me. I sure do miss my gma!
-attempted to make choc chip cookies while my love was working hard on moving the last few heavy things. Oven doesn't work. 25 minutes on 500 degrees and chips were just beginning to melt.
-F1 tornado went thru the neighborhood of the house we were scheduled to close on Thursday. Neighbors all had a single tree down. Not us. We're pretty "special" apparently. 5 trees down for us. But hey, we made the news.
-$500 going to stump removal now on a property we no longer own
-doing laundry at the temporary housing when toilet starts gurgling and nastiness comes up from the bath drain
Let's just say that if my kids weren't watching I would have curled up in a corner and cried. Now I'm sitting around looking at boxes. Can't find anything but will be moving again in a week and a half (Lord willing). So, I don't dare unpack anything.
I'm grumpy, moody, and frustrated. I'm working on a very short fuse.
But God loves me and walks with me in spite of it all. Thanks for not throwing in the towel on me God.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I am a creature of habit. I like to know what's going to happen. I like for things to be organized and settled. Clutter is not my friend! I do admire those that look past it and call it life. I want to relax enough to let things go. But I'm
a bit OCDone who likes organization. Everything has a place and everything in it's place. In fact, I recently read a quote that was so true of who I am at times. "I have CDO. It's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be. Funny to read but often frustrating to live. Frustrating for my husband and kids as I nag and insist that things be put away properly. I need to let go. I need to let my kids live and enjoy. I've often read another quote, "Excuse the mess. We're busy making memories." How many memories have I allowed myself to miss out on because things weren't tidy? Grrr! It's embarrasing to think about and quite disappointing. So, I'm going to try to let loose a bit. Allow creativity in my children that is not limited to "clean" creativity. Let loose and live. Enjoy! Laugh! For the clutter will still be there tomorrow, but the ones I love might not.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
My desire is to raise my children to love the Lord with all their hearts and to want to serve Him in everything they do...or at least I say that is my desire. But sometimes I let myself get in the way. I want my children to love others, to be respectful, to be a person others want to be around. But so often instead of teaching and guiding I find myself tearing down and ridiculing.
Is it It is so often pride. What will others think of ME when they see my kids acting that way? What will others think of ME when they hear my children speak? But it's not about me. It's not about my pride. It really should be about showing my children what it is to walk with the Lord daily and how He respinds the many times others watch me, His child, behaving or speaking the way I do. See, it is my job duty to show my children what a true life lived daily for Christ really looks like. Man that's hard impossible to fake to those who love you most. I want to be sold out. I want my kids to remember me showing not telling about how God wants us to live our lives.